A Different Kind of Christmas: What to do When Christmas Isn’t Merry

I have always envisioned Christmas morning at my house. It’s a dream of mine to wake up and watch my children & husband open gifts while I sip my coffee. From there, I’d move to my farmhouse kitchen, still wrapped in my bathrobe, where I would scramble some eggs and whip up some monkey bread. Definitely hearing the sheep baaing, the rooster crowing, and some cows mooing outside of my window while grabbing for mug-o-joe number two. Girl gotta wake up… Read more

Faith & Medical Intervention: My Story of Seeking a Doctor

Faith & Medical Intervention: My Story of Seeking a Doctor

I’ve gone back and forth about writing this post for a few reasons. First, there are components of my faith and personal walk with the Lord that are private. There are prayers that I pray, convictions that I work through, and even celebrations that will remain between He and I. I’ve wondered if God’s words to me about seeking medical intervention were just for me.

Secondly, coinciding with the first reason, while I want to encourage women and couples in their own journey I didn’t fully trust that some who came across my blog (especially if I don’t know you and your faith) would read my post and use it as a rationalization for them to seek treatments. I know how us infertiles can get. We look for any reason and approval to do something that maybe we ought not. Read more

From Newlywed to Newly Infertile: Encouragement for the Infertile Newlywed

From Newlywed to Newly Infertile: Encouragement for the Infertile Newlywed

I have been thinking about all of the young women around me getting engaged. Perhaps even newly married now and I ponder the realization that they may find themselves walking the same road of infertility as me.

To you newlyweds, there may be a time when you decide “it’s time”. It’s time to grow your family. You’re ready to raise little ones to love Jesus as much as you do. You plan, plan, and plan some more. Start Pinterest boards of pretty nurseries, how to make your own baby food, and how to stay fit while pregnant.

But, 6 months goes by and you’re still not pregnant. You do a little head tilt in wonderment. A year in and you start to worry. Perhaps 6 more months goes by and you start to unravel a bit. Then, it happens. A girlfriend, sibling, cousin, or coworker announces she’s pregnant.

That’s when all sense of control breaks loose.  Read more

5 Changes That Have Made the BIGGEST Impact to my Health

5 Changes That Have Made the BIGGEST Impact to my Health

As you are well aware of now, I had a health crisis that started (unbeknownst to me) last fall. Many of my issues stemmed from a genetic disorder called MTHFR and I was unaware that I had it. It was this genetic disorder and our miscarriage last year that triggered a terrible response in my body. It made me into somebody I had never seen before. Memory loss, dizziness, weight gain, blackouts, the whole gamut. I didn’t know what was going on and the scariest part was that I thought I was dying because I felt so foreign. I was unrecognizable even to me.

It was that abnormality that was the catalyst that set me free from a season coming to an end. I just didn’t know it yet.

But, talk of the seasonality of ministry, work, and focus is for another day.

Let’s get to the nitty gritty of today’s topic…

Today on the blog, I want to share with you 5 of my favorite things I implemented that helped get me back to my old self… and really, an even better version of myself.

Read more

Keep Going: A Note of Encouragement

Keep Going: A Note of Encouragement

Bouncing back. That’s the ability I’ve been gaining back these days and it feels so awesome. Since the miscarriage in 2016, I’ve been going through one of the worst seasons ever! I normally work my way through the messes of life and come out stronger. But, not this time.

Losing that ability was rough and foreign.

Here we are today, a little over a year later and I’m as perky as ever! Praise the Lord!!!

I’ve been working really hard this summer to guard my life from the intrusions that come quickly and almost silently. They’re the obligations that pop up and you feel like you have to say “yes” to. My summer has been quieter and that’s been so good for my wellness track.

But, these last few weeks have put some cracks in my armor. Read more

Empty

Empty

“As I go about my days, I can’t help but have a pure disgust for this world. It’s awful. I spend everyday watching as people hate one another. They bow to their idols. They choose themselves first… I look around my own house, marriage, and life to find so much idolatrous clutter. I am disgusted!

I feel like my body is crawling with 1000 bugs and I am trying to throw them off. Panic sets in and I’ve become more and more desperate to purge my life of sin and immorality and carnality. I wish to be a minimalist. Not because it’s a fad. But, because my life has taken on a form of its own. It has followed the gluttonous ways of this world and I no longer want anything to do with it…” [an entry from my journal] Read more

MTHFR: I’m Angry About This

MTHFR: I’m Angry About This

This road this has been long. As I told you in my last post, I’ve already been working on my autoimmune protocol (or ‘AIP’) for years. I just didn’t know it. All these years of grass-fed this and organic that and natural this & that hasn’t been for nothing. It’s been part of His plan all along.

I finally received confirmation on July 25th, 2017 that I am positive for a genetic disorder. I’ve been thanking God ever since for that answer because now I can go confidently in a direction without wondering if it’s worth it.

MTHFR diagnosis has changed my life

At this point, I find this will surely be one of the biggest undertakings of my life. Unlike most conventional wisdom, it’s not as easy as taking a pill to ease the suffering.

Having chosen a whole body approach to medicine because I have found this to be the most effective and won’t cause a bunch of other side effects. My work will not just be time consuming but life consuming as well. But, I’m bound and determined to balance it all.  Read more

The Diagnosis: What in the World is MTHFR?!?!

The Diagnosis: What in the World is MTHFR?!?!

Ok, I had to. The first time I saw this acronym I swore it was a bad word. You think so too!?!?! Why is that? The human brain is interesting. Why we see it as bad word is beyond me. I would think us Infertiles would see “MOTHER” first. Anyhow, I digress…

I’ve been diagnosed with this silly little acronym. A moment that will forever be remembered. I’ve always been told I was completely healthy and there’s no reason for the inability to get pregnant.

After speaking with my doctor for a few minutes, I hung up. And then teared up. I mean for the first time, I had at least a portion of an answer. It may not be all of the answer we need. But, it was a significant piece of the puzzle. Read more

Navigating an Unexpected Health Crisis

Navigating an Unexpected Health Crisis

This new season has been eye opening.

As you are now aware, I’ve been struggling for some time and working to regain my health – mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally.

I’ve never had what I would consider a life crisis before. Lots of mini issues, sure. Everyone has to scale back from time to time but this was my first full blown attack that left me broken in nearly every area of my life.

For the first time in my life, I’ve learned how crucial our physical health is to everything we do. Everyday we live like we’re invincible. But, when you become so sick you can’t function on any level, you realize just how small you really are.When my physical health tore down my daily capabilities, I had to do what it took to create space in life to focus on regaining my footing. So, that’s exactly what I did. Read more

Restoration of a Broken Heart

Restoration of a Broken Heart

Wow, what a ride. It’s been one of life’s seasons when things seems to ebb and flow about as smoothly as the ocean waves in a hurricane. One minute there was peace and calming. The next I was drowning. That’s what this road has been for several months now, causing me to go quiet. Blogging had gone by the wayside save for a few guest posts.

But, honestly, I had lost my will to write, share, and encourage. It’s been a season where I myself needed the encouragement and was in no condition to offer it to others.

Sounds selfish. But, truly, my soul had gone into the depths of despair and depression.

I knew things were getting bad when I started withdrawing. Having gone through bouts of depression before I know the warning signs – reclusive, lost interest in hobbies, friends, loved ones, fatigued, loss or gain of appetite, headaches, dizziness, etc. The bitterness… oh, the bitterness…

I had it all. Read more