I Choose Joy. That is all… I just have to choose joy.
No Air Conditioning
I’m sitting here on the sofa in our newly renovated house… well, phase one is mostly done anyways… It’s technically autumn but you wouldn’t know it because the forecast is calling for temperatures in the mid-nineties this week. Our house doesn’t have air conditioning except for one lonely window unit in our bedroom.
We’ve hemmed and hawed over what type of heating and cooling equipment to install but none of the options synced with our “let’s do this as debt-free as possible” ambition. So, hot and humid our house be. Come winter, I’m not so sure. I just may be sleeping in multilayers of clothes. Virginia is a hot, southern state. However, winters can be just as brutally cold.
Ya know, it could be worse. I could be living without my fan blowing in my face. That would be roughing it for sure.
Plague of Flies
Today I made some chicken leg quarters with greens, potatoes, and mushrooms in the crockpot. As is customary, anytime I make a crockpot meal all of the flies in the county migrate my direction and settle themselves on the sides of my house. Only this time, having not completed all of the necessary tasks in our reno, the flies made it into the house and are now swarming our personal space. Fabulous.
That’s ok. Nothing my disdain of flies and a Dyson can’t take care of.
I’m Fat, Old, & Immobile
After spending the last week moving, I decided to primarily work on my day job as a bookkeeper. Give the ol’ feet and ankles some rest. It’s insane how out of shape I am. I never seem to remember that just because I am working at something, doesn’t mean it’s a physically healthy something. I can be productive in one area at the sacrifice of another. In this case, I am hyper-productive at bringing in an income towards our household budget but at the cost of my physical health. You can tell me all day long, ‘Jil, ya just gotta go for a run after work’. I learned that this doesn’t matter. That working out for an hour or so doesn’t make up for sitting for 9-11 hours plus night time sitting. A consistent mobile lifestyle is best.
But, after spending months in prayer asking the Lord to open doors for me to exit out of bookkeeping… or anything that requires a ton of sitting behind a desk for that matter… He patiently, lovingly, and firmly said something to the tune of, ‘Nah, girl, I’m not done with the skills I’ve given you yet.’
So, I trust that His ways are better than mine.
Desert Lands
Midday I noticed the water pressure slowly fading. What started out as a shower full of pressure this morning ended with drips when I went to clean up some dinner dishes.
Yep, no water.
And yep, I’m still talking about the same day as the swarm of flies, no a/c, and an overly sore body from living a sedentary lifestyle.
But, God is good. All the time. Because of this, I choose joy.
You Will Run & Not Grow Weary
I’m contemplating how disappointing so much of this is and yet I find my soul just itching to keep my heart from sinking into a whiney funk. Let’s face it, everything I’ve mentioned is a first world problem.
How can I wallow in complaint at a few things that are so small in the grand scheme of things? The water will be fixed. The flies will eventually be gone. The heat & humidity in our home has lightened up even in the small space of time I’ve been typing this out (it’s now 9pm and the sun has disappeared behind the trees).
As for my feet? God did allow the invention of… well, I would have typed “an Epsom salt bath” but how can that happen without water??? So, He allowed the invention of Advil for when the going gets really tough. Ha!
I am truly ashamed of our culture here in America. We’ve become so out of touch with reality while we live in our own little world. Lacking joy. Dependent upon happiness found in temporal things, conveniences, and circumstances. No one ever said that following the Lord would be easy. In fact, the common misconception is that life will indeed be easier. It is not. Nothing about this life is easy.
What I have despite my circumstances is joy and peace because of my faith and salvation. It’s a promised gift that is ripe for the taking. If you so choose to take it.
Brooks and I knew there would be sacrifices. We knew that moving into a home without modern conveniences would be a tough adjustment. In our minds, we were prepared and ready. But, now that the struggles stemming from living here have begun, it’s time we slip on those shoes of peace knowing that He works all things for the good of those who love Him.
He is molding us into perfect completion all the way through until His work is done. That perhaps this is indeed a test. A test of our faith. A test of our commitment to Him, to each other, and to the concepts of trust, joy, and faith.
Our responsibility is to choose joy, trust Him in the dark and when we can’t see all of the details, even when our feet hurt, we’re covered in flies, water is nowhere to be found, and no cool escape from the southern heat.
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