My soul is settled and content. It feels so good. After a tumultuous fall, winter, and spring, this summer is full of new growth and direction. New hopes and dreams. New pursuits and even a few new additions to the bucket list.
Times have changed.
Brooks and I don’t have plans for further attempts at having children. We’ve done all that is in our power and today’s medical treatments are very harsh on the body. The injections, the hormones, the stress, the waiting, the wondering, the bleeding, the loss. We’ve lived through it all a few times over. It didn’t work and we are ok with that. Disappointed, yes. But, not all is lost. God is still on His throne and is still at work. Our not pursuing further treatments is for a variety of reasons.
I’ve always had joy and trusted that the Lord would work on my behalf. But, the type of trust I needed to grab hold of is the kind that allows me to naturally let go. An authentic release. Like a child whose hands are grasping the side of a pool while her dad is coaxing her into the water, I had to have the kind of trust that knows my dad will not let me drown. I trusted God in general but it was time to let go of that pool wall.
That’s where I am now. He has shown me there is a different work to be faith filled and excited about. It’s not infertility focused. But, something else.
Where Do We Go From Here?
You know how I’ve always said “do kingdom work”? If you come to me with your woes, that’s my response. When you’re waiting on an answer to prayer, do kingdom work. When your world has been crushed, love others well. When you are disappointed in your circumstances, serve God. It’s that simple.
I was reminded of my own words recently when my pastor preached that same concept. Hearing it from the mouth of someone else was like everything came full circle after the hardships of these last 4 years.
Revival of this blog is one area of newness and dedication to kingdom work. But, like the ever changing times we live in, the message and focus is taking a new direction.
Therefore, the future of this blog is going to look different. There will be more content of our day to day lives renovating a mission house (yep, the one shown in these photos), expanding a farm business, and honoring the Lord in it all. Focus on my faith will remain unchanged in my writing.
A House Built for Ministry
Now that Brooks and I aren’t honed in on trying to make a baby, one area of focus is opening our future home for ministry. There will be a separate blog post about our mission house explaining all that the Lord is doing there. It’s scary, very stressful, and bigger than we could have ever imagined. I still don’t know all that will be done there (nor how it will get done). But, I am excited.
The Farm
Secondly, we’ve decided to expand our farm business. We recently bought out a local farm and it’s meant huge change for ThorneBrook Farms. Crazy things are happening in the life of this farm wife which I know is why the Lord has settled my heart and is working on the revival of my work.
Brooks and I defined our life as F.O.M. which stands for Farm.Overland.Mission. Two of those areas are on fire. Everyday is a busy one facilitating the happenings of Farm and Mission. I’m still waiting on the Overland part. Traveling is hard to do when you have 230+ cattle under your care. To be honest that is a corner of my heart that needs contentment. Which leads me to my third focus.
Extraordinary Faith
A life lived for the Lord. I want to share not just all that the Lord is doing in these areas of our work but also my life as a woman after God’s heart. When I cry I want you to know why the tears are there and how God is working. When I laugh I want you to know the source of it. When I sit in awe I want you to see what I see.
It’s Not About That
What my blog won’t contain in the future are stories and happenings of a life seeking pregnancy and child rearing. That season is over. It’s now time to talk about thriving in a life I didn’t choose; a child-free one.
Don’t miss the fact that I said ‘child-free’ as opposed to ‘childless’. This is a glass half full, I’m going to live wholeheartedly free, trusting in God moment. I’m 35. Still young in age but now older when it comes to fertility. Anything is possible. Certainly, if the Lord should surprise us, I will let you know… after Brooks, my sister, and family, of course.
So, sit back, relax, and join me in celebrating all that He has done, is continuing to do, and will be doing in the days, weeks, and years to come.
All of it For the Love of Joy brought on by our Hope. I can’t wait to tell you more…
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