Her candle doesn’t go out by night. {Proverbs 31:18}
This girl’s candle typically blows out between 9:30 and 10pm. The fight usually begins around 8:30pm, though. That moment when my eyes start heavily drooping and my mind flirts with the R.E.M. cycle.
Sleep hasn’t come easy lately. I don’t exactly know why but I’m suspicious it’s a season of change for me. I find myself approaching 10:30, 11pm and I’m still. ah. WAKE! This morning, after starting to snooze at about 10pm, I woke up for good at… 2:00am…
I slowly rolled out of bed as not to wake Brooksie, crept downstairs, grabbed a glass of water, and sat down at my desk to work on my day job as a bookkeeper [I will be writing a series of posts on working from home soon enough!].
It’s now 7pm and my body is screaming, ‘Enough, already!’
But, ya know what? I’ve needed some days like this. Up ridiculously early [and I repeat… ridiculously early….], devotions and quiet time prosperous, hearty breakfast, and lots of productivity at work and home. Done!
How did that happen? And for a few days in a row? With no sleep???
I don’t know how it’s possible only to say this, the Lord sustains us in our every need.
He gives strength to my hands and alertness to my eyes as I take on more clients at work while balancing all that we do here. I have no explanation to how it all gets done except by His grace alone in giving me stamina as it’s depleted.
A few weeks ago, after a bit of disappointment, confusion, and unrest in my soul, my heart was brought back to life with this verse:
My beloved spake, and said unto me, ‘Rise up, my love,… and come away. For lo, the winter is past the rain is over and gone.’
Sweet medicine to a soul, amen?
In this season of more work and less time to do any of it, I see God working in mighty ways to sustain me. Even in the wee hours of the morning when I’m so, so sleepy, I discover an abundance of energy. Selah
A friend of mine once spoke of this in her season as a new, working mom. She, too, was so sleepy and yet found overwhelming energy to somehow take on the sleepless nights, long work days, and the hard but short evenings with family. I loved her testimony she shared some 7 years ago. I still remember it even now as I walk to through a similar season of sleeplessness. {Thank you Christina G. xoxo}
I’ve also had this deep, deep void in my soul to get back to life with my sistas. Sistas being my women feverishly after God’s heart. If I could insert a big ol’ heart right here I would.
My women folk. The older ones. The younger ones. The besties. The ones with lots of common ground. Or perhaps none at all. The ones that are relentless at holding me accountable. And the ones who shoot straight with me. I need ya. All of ya. Especially the ones that want to talk Bible allll daaaay loooong.
I’m craving His word; testimonies of His miracles. I don’t want small talk. I want deep conversations with His people. I’m constantly wanting more of Him specifically through fellowship with His people. It’s hard to find friendship like that who are in the same place you are.
Anyone else walk through seasons like this? If so, wait on the Lord. He knows exactly where you are and what you need, what you crave, and with whom you crave it.
Where ever and whatever state you find yourself in, know that God promises to be with you (Deut 31:6). He promises to show you things you don’t know when you seek Him (Jeremiah 33:3). He will strengthen you (Psalm 27:14).
And don’t forget to surround yourself with your sistas. Especially, the older, wiser ones that crave the Word as much as you and more.
I can hardly wait.
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