Good morning world! I am blogging from my long-johns today as it is in the 30s here in Virginia. When it’s a chilly, fall day a wood stove and long-johns become the standard.
Last night, I was curling up in my oversized chair reading the story of Job. I’ve been a bit depressed these days and nothing [I mean NOTHING] has eased my griefs. So, into the God’s word I went.
Job’s testimony is one that should be read by all. It is about a man whom God allowed Satan to attack in order to prove his faith. God was using Job to conquer evil although he didn’t know this at the time. He lost everything except for his wife and a few servants, and developed painful boils that covered him head to toe. The whole book goes through this event, a dialogue between Job and his friends, and ends with teaching us the character of God and the relentless faith of Job.
As I was reading through, something struck a chord with me that I think so many miss. The BEAUTY OF SILENCE. The resolve of being a shoulder to cry on and nothing more. No words. No advice. Just friendship and silence.
After hearing of Job’s struggles, three of his closest friends came to him to offer their support. They sought him out of genuine love for a friend who was hurting. Job was so unrecognizable because of the boils that his friends nearly missed him! The three amigos fell into despair at the sight of their friend and began to weep and act out in displays of dissatisfaction.
After the initial shock wore off they did the very best thing. They sat with the grieving Job for 7 days and 7 nights. {Job 2:11-13} No words were exchanged. They just sat still. Their very presence was enough and all that was needed.
When we are struggling we mostly just need the simplicity of someone physically being there. In this way, infertility is no different from cancer, loss of a loved one, or any other tragic event that can take place in our life. The art of keeping silent is an asset that most lack. We always feel like we need to offer advice or say the right thing in these moments. But what the hurting really need is wordless.
1 John 3:18 says this,
“let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth”
Isn’t that the truth!?!?
A few years ago, I came out of my infertility closet and had a big, ugly cry in front of 12 or so of my peers. I let it all out. All of my grief that had built up over the course of 8 years was pouring out to these women. They too cried as Job’s friends cried and some of them responded with “I have no words”. I will never forget it. These women did exactly what they needed to do – kept silent, listened, and cried with me. After composing ourselves, we prayed. That my friends is perfection.
We later read that Job’s friends did end up offering advice and what a can of worms that opened! In fact, they blamed Job’s adversity on him! Their words to Job snowballed out of control and ended up hurting him. But, Job stood strong in the Lord.
Every single one of us at some point is given the opportunity to be a shoulder to someone. I encourage you to approach today knowing that sometimes silence is the best medicine. Be still, weep with your loved one, and hold your tongue.
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