Stay at Home Wife… It’s not old fashioned but a PASSION.


It’s official. I’m a Stay at Home Wife {SAHW}. Of course I’m hoping that a promotion is coming my way to Stay at Home Mom {SAHM}. But for now, my job description is everything but parenting.

I finished up my last day at my paying job yesterday. I’ve always had a hard time transitioning from job to job. Not that it’s an unwelcome change but it’s a stressful one. I’m the personality that likes to take care of everyone. So, when changes like this happen, I usually squeeze out as much of my sanity as possible to support both my old and new employer. Typically that meant working way overtime to get it all done for both employers. Yuk!

This time is different. I only had the one old employer and am now transitioning to Brooks & Jil’s Household, LLC. You guys, I’m not going lie… I am TERRIFIED!!!

I’ve been working since my family moved to Ashland, VA on a little farm outside the town limits. I’ve been earning a paycheck since I was 15. I worked just under full-time at a local Barnes & Noble while maintaining close to full-time status at college. Once out of college, I worked over full-time for employers and ourselves.

I’ve always been a contributor to our household budget and have always been accountable to a boss. I know in my heart earning a paycheck is not my identity but trust me, I’ve never felt more like a fish out of water. Like a lost puppy. Like a teenager at that awkward stage of crackling voices, a face full of pimples and high water jeans just because we can’t stop growing.

I’ve been living like a woman who has defined her life around her ability to make money. I’ve been duped.

Seriously, it’s no wonder my health has been failing me. I truly believe we are all called and obligated to work. To care for our families. To contribute to society and the human race through our skills and abilities to work.

But I’m just not convinced we are supposed to kill our bodies in the process. I’m learning that for me it doesn’t mean that I MUST earn a paycheck. Lord willing, I want to be doing something I’m passionate about! There needs to be balance and prioritization. I think we have forgotten about this and our priorities have gotten out of whack.

I can’t speak for everyone but I am certain that the biggest hinderance of work/life balance and the inability to make any substantial life changes (such as a career move) is due to our lifestyle. We want what we want when we want it. Not enough people are willing to make the sacrifices necessary in order to make the equally imperative life changes.

When I think about the new cars, the gargantuan homes, the shopping and don’t even get me started on the lost art of cooking at home, it literally grieves my soul. Since when are the luxuries more important than families???

I digress… excuse me while I get off my soapbox…

Brooks and I knew this is what we were supposed to do. Here recently, he’s had to be the encourager in the relationship. Because of my fear of this change and the awkwardness of being at home and not earning a paycheck, he’s had to hold my hand over the last couple days as my final day as an employed worker got closer.

It is requiring us to make SUBSTANTIAL sacrifices in our financials. But, at the same time we are gaining so much more. Leading up to this, on the days when I worked at home, Brooks and I found ourselves to be the happiest. My BEST WORK over the last year has been done here in this house.

We are so excited for our next chapter! Even though it is one of the scariest financial moves we’ve ever made, the joy surrounding us as we make these moves is awesome. Faith is belief in the things unseen. We are living by faith in more than one area of our life. It’s making us stronger. I like that.

And let’s face it, where else is it morally acceptable to flirt with & smooch your coworker… ;o* {Love you Bebe!!!} Thinking about the positives here people.

Related Link:

Choose One: Wifedom or Motherhood???

How to Thrive as a SAHW or WAHW

Established: How We Attain Our Goals

Breaking Free From Social Media

7 thoughts on “Stay at Home Wife… It’s not old fashioned but a PASSION.

  • August 11, 2016 at 11:05 AM

    I Understand being terrified ! I quit my job three months ago and have been working since I was 15 as well! We decided to do this for the same reasons. Our house wasn’t being taken care of, home cooked dinner was falling by the wayside, we have six chickens a garden and a greyhound as welI! I have to say it has been a lot of work but it pays off so much. My husband is older than I am and has three older children two of which live with us on top of it! I have to say the mood of the house is less stressful, I have time to feed everyone, take care of my family, the house, the landscape, the garden and the animals. I’m happier and I work harder than I did at my job outside of the home! It’s very rewarding. You’ll love it !?

    • August 12, 2016 at 7:53 AM

      Hi Carolyn! Yes, it has been such an experience. We are quickly approaching a year into the decision and wow what a ride. There have been some scary times financially and I also went through a season of doubt. I found myself wondering about my purpose? It was weird. I think the decision had changed my life so much that it caused a bit of ruckus. But, the Lord just said to be still. So still I was. 🙂 And now, I am seeing things plug right into place. Like you, it’s been so great getting all of my responsibilities taken care of! Whew! Jil

      • September 13, 2016 at 8:43 AM

        That’s great ?

  • April 27, 2016 at 3:40 PM

    I have been here sister! We made the choice for me to be at home to take care of the family, something I used to do in my previous marriage. However in my previous marriage, we made substantially more money than my husband and I do. I have been the primary breadwinner for my family, so my choice to stay home meant a HUGE hit to our finances. We now make less than 15k/year. Is it tough? YES. OMG YES. We don’t get to go out a lot, and usually when we do his parents are the ones treating us. We mostly live with the necessities, but let me tell you, we are so much happier than we have ever been! It all works out <3

    • April 27, 2016 at 6:54 PM

      Absolutely! It continues to be so incredibly difficult to make ends meet. We have a lot of reasons to be bummed about our finances. We want so bad to be financially secure – 6 month emergency fund, mortgage free, investing regularly, etc. It would be great to have some spending money, too! But, despite all that, every time we try to make moves to have me work part time (something we were reconsidering doing a couple months ago when our IUI failed) God directly blocked all of the doors! It wasn’t due to anything wrong with me or my resume. I have a sellable skills, reputation, etc. But, literally, God picked us up and put us in a different direction. If you can imagine a parent watching their little baby crawling towards the stairs and they run over to grab them and set them back where they are supposed to be, that was us. That’s what happened. So, neat. I need to write a post about it!

      As scary as it is for us to be in this [very, very] uncomfortable financial condition, it is obvious that we are right were we need to be. It’s not what I want financially but it’s most definitely what the Lord had in mind – for whatever reason? Ultimately, it’s where I want to be. I just wish the finances were more promising. 😉

  • October 10, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    Well put! I am excited for you both and will continue to pray for a smooth transition into your new role. God never calls to what he has not equipped is to do. ?

    • October 12, 2015 at 12:01 PM

      Yes! We are learning trust in this new life for sure!


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