This new season has been eye opening.
As you are now aware, I’ve been struggling for some time and working to regain my health – mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally.
I’ve never had what I would consider a life crisis before. Lots of mini issues, sure. Everyone has to scale back from time to time but this was my first full blown attack that left me broken in nearly every area of my life.
For the first time in my life, I’ve learned how crucial our physical health is to everything we do. Everyday we live like we’re invincible. But, when you become so sick you can’t function on any level, you realize just how small you really are.When my physical health tore down my daily capabilities, I had to do what it took to create space in life to focus on regaining my footing. So, that’s exactly what I did.
Scales removed from my eyes, I began to restructure and reprioritize ER’THING! I had to let some things go.
As I’ve worked on the restructure, I approached it with the understanding that I needed to embrace “Emergency Mode” for a period of time. This meant that only the necessities would be allowed to stay on my priorities list. I progressed forward in this temporary solution and faithfully believed that one day I could restructure again but with more longterm sustainability, adding back some of the things I truly feel called to focus on.
I prayerfully determined my top priorities and aligned them into order of importance.
PRIORITY ONE: SPIRITUAL HEALTH
I described this one in my last post. I knew my heart had grown angry with God and I lacked thankfulness. Troubleshooting this meant having to acknowledge my wrongs and address them in prayer. I longed to embrace and live out my rights to fellowship with God but had lost that luster for His word and prayer. With God all things are possible and He promises to never leave our side. I had grown blind to His presence and that’s not ok.
PRIORITY TWO: PHYSICAL HEALTH
To aid in this effort, I decided to see a naturopath for help. After a slew of blood work, tinctures, pills, and newly formed habits I can happily report that I am on my way to wellness. Yea! The details of that are for another blog post but let’s just say we are getting to the bottom of some ongoing issues. My naturopath was able to confirm that I am positive for MTHFR, a gene mutation that’s been strongly linked to chronic depression, infertility, and poor cardiovascular health (& so, so much more)! Again, that’s for another post…
Honestly, this was the hardest portion of the road I’ve been traveling. Having to approach friends and family with “I’m struggling and I can no longer commit to _______” was some of the hardest work to be done. The faces, disappointing tones, and guilt of letting someone down. Whew! But, we are all struggling with our schedules and commitments. Life is busy and we are getting sick from it. That’s truly the reality, is it not?
So, while there was sadness in their response, there was also the “I totally get it” undertone.
PRIORITY THREE: MARRIAGE HEALTH
My third and final priority was my marriage. Spiritual and health issues, my friend…. they are killers to a marriage. It takes two to argue but I knew I had a huge hand in the stress our marriage was under. It’s not so fun for a husband to have a bitter, angry wife all the time who spends all of her time being physically sick. Sheesh! Poor guy!
While the first two priorities were being addressed, I had faith it would lift the cloud of burden from my marriage enough that we could breath and enjoy marital bliss (as earthly possible as that could be). #thatsawholeotherposttoo
After these three priorities, my primary vocation was the fourth. Nothing else was a priority beyond that. A social life with my friends & family was not a top priority. If I had time for it, great. This blog had to wait. My new JOY SHOP had to wait. The farm had to wait.
Free from many of my commitments, I could focus my attention on getting better, which in the long run would help me serve in those capacities better.
My life seemingly stood still and yet took on a new peace. I was completely comfortable with where I was headed and what I was focusing on. Proving my steps were right, the following weeks brought progress and hope…