From Newlywed to Newly Infertile: Encouragement for the Infertile Newlywed

From Newlywed to Newly Infertile: Encouragement for the Infertile Newlywed

I have been thinking about all of the young women around me getting engaged. Perhaps even newly married now and I ponder the realization that they may find themselves walking the same road of infertility as me.

To you newlyweds, there may be a time when you decide “it’s time”. It’s time to grow your family. You’re ready to raise little ones to love Jesus as much as you do. You plan, plan, and plan some more. Start Pinterest boards of pretty nurseries, how to make your own baby food, and how to stay fit while pregnant.

But, 6 months goes by and you’re still not pregnant. You do a little head tilt in wonderment. A year in and you start to worry. Perhaps 6 more months goes by and you start to unravel a bit. Then, it happens. A girlfriend, sibling, cousin, or coworker announces she’s pregnant.

That’s when all sense of control breaks loose.  Read more

An Empty Womb: What My Life Looks Like Without Children

An Empty Womb: What My Life Looks Like Without Children

One of the aspects of infertility that I am stark-raving passionate about is ‘living life outside of infertility’.

For the first few years of this journey, I went kicking and screaming about not having control over my wanting children. I had plans to start a family and when it didn’t happen I threw a life sized hissy fit. My every waking moment was focused on waiting for a positive pregnancy test. The sad part is that I missed out on so much life during those years.

I genuinely regret the years that I’ve lost. I won’t get those opportunities and moments back. They’re gone for good. 

I’d been reading Kingdom Woman by Tony Evans and got to a section about single womanhood. Usually I blow right past sections like these because, hello(!), I’m married! But, for some reason, I was feeling a nudge to read it. 

About a paragraph in I knew exactly why. Yes, the section talked about singles. But, dog-gone, there is an important lesson in those pages that absolutely applies to barrens and, y’all, I JUST HAD TO SHARE IT WITH YOU!  Read more

God Does Have a Plan While I’m Waiting

God Does Have a Plan While I’m Waiting

What do I do “While In Waiting”? It’s a question I have often asked myself over the years. I have much more free focus than women with children. I have skills, talents, passions but always felt a constant pull to live on the edge of my seat as though my family would expand at any moment. Like I shouldn’t commit to anything big because what if I got pregnant?

I am here to tell you that is NOT a way of life. Over and over I found myself disappointed and wasting time. So many opportunities passed me by. I was so tunnel visioned on the what ifs that I missed a part of my journey. I do regret having done this but I’ve certainly learned from it.

Remember in this post when I explained the valley? How when we are in a valley, we need to stop and smell the roses? That we need to pay attention to what God has for us now? This is what I’m talking about.

For 8.5 years, I held back on commitments, opportunities, on LIFE! God promises that He knows the plans He has for us. They include peace, hope and a future. {Jeremiah 29:11} Not one life He sets out to waste.

After countless hours of prayer and study and keeping my eyes wide open for answers, I finally found the perfect mentor for this portion of my journey. She is nameless but anything but ordinary. Read more