I’ve gone back and forth about writing this post for a few reasons. First, there are components of my faith and personal walk with the Lord that are private. There are prayers that I pray, convictions that I work through, and even celebrations that will remain between He and I. I’ve wondered if God’s words to me about seeking medical intervention were just for me.
Secondly, coinciding with the first reason, while I want to encourage women and couples in their own journey I didn’t fully trust that some who came across my blog (especially if I don’t know you and your faith) would read my post and use it as a rationalization for them to seek treatments. I know how us infertiles can get. We look for any reason and approval to do something that maybe we ought not. Read more
This road this has been long. As I told you in my last post, I’ve already been working on my autoimmune protocol (or ‘AIP’) for years. I just didn’t know it. All these years of grass-fed this and organic that and natural this & that hasn’t been for nothing. It’s been part of His plan all along.
I finally received confirmation on July 25th, 2017 that I am positive for a genetic disorder. I’ve been thanking God ever since for that answer because now I can go confidently in a direction without wondering if it’s worth it.
MTHFR diagnosis has changed my life
At this point, I find this will surely be one of the biggest undertakings of my life. Unlike most conventional wisdom, it’s not as easy as taking a pill to ease the suffering.
Having chosen a whole body approach to medicine because I have found this to be the most effective and won’t cause a bunch of other side effects. My work will not just be time consuming but life consuming as well. But, I’m bound and determined to balance it all. Read more
Ok, I had to. The first time I saw this acronym I swore it was a bad word. You think so too!?!?! Why is that? The human brain is interesting. Why we see it as bad word is beyond me. I would think us Infertiles would see “MOTHER” first. Anyhow, I digress…
I’ve been diagnosed with this silly little acronym. A moment that will forever be remembered. I’ve always been told I was completely healthy and there’s no reason for the inability to get pregnant.
After speaking with my doctor for a few minutes, I hung up. And then teared up. I mean for the first time, I had at least a portion of an answer. It may not be all of the answer we need. But, it was a significant piece of the puzzle.Read more
As you are now aware, I’ve been struggling for some time and working to regain my health – mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally.
I’ve never had what I would consider a life crisis before. Lots of mini issues, sure. Everyone has to scale back from time to time but this was my first full blown attack that left me broken in nearly every area of my life.
For the first time in my life, I’ve learned how crucial our physical health is to everything we do. Everyday we live like we’re invincible. But, when you become so sick you can’t function on any level, you realize just how small you really are.When my physical health tore down my daily capabilities, I had to do what it took to create space in life to focus on regaining my footing. So, that’s exactly what I did.Read more
Adoptions don’t always go according to our plan and expectation. As with everything in life, we can make our plans but ultimately the Lord determines our steps. Tim and Judy’s adoption story is no different. As you will see, a happy expectation can turn sour in an instant. But, we need not to fret. God has a plan and purpose much bigger than ours. He sees every tear, disappointment, and fear. We just need to trust Him.
Enjoy my friend Judy’s adoption story. She has a HUGE heart for adoption, those of us going through the woes of infertility, and God’s unique plan for us ttc’ers.
The journey to parenthood can have many twists and turns. After several years of infertility treatment, we decided that adoption was going to be our best option. We’d even said before we were ever married that if we had any trouble conceiving, that we’d adopt, so God was planting that seed early!Read more
It happened. I lost my pup and four-legged companion of over a decade. It was a sudden event and there was wailing. I didn’t expect it. I had all of about 3 minutes to say goodbye, most of which was spent moving through the initial shock… I went nuts. Crazy even. No time to prepare emotionally.
My Jack was completely healthy and of course, in my attempts to live life a little more carefree, had my guard down about losing him. He died in an accident on the farm. Read more
I’ve often wondered why I try so hard. I mean, this general wondering can be applied to just about everything in life – work, marriage, child rearing. Anything. But, for me it’s mostly that relentless need to keep the pursuit of a growing family. I believe this is where Proverbs 30:15-16 comes into play.
I’ve failed at many things in my lifetime most of which I simply stand back up, brush myself off, and walk on in another direction. So, what is it that keeps me going in this relentless battle to have my babies?
In this journey, I’ve always felt like if I could just try IVF that’ll be all I need. If I can just do that, if it fails, I will finally have closure and can move on. Last year, we did IVF, had our first frozen embryo transfer, were pregnant with twins, and subsequently miscarried both. If you’ve been following our journey, you know that we’ve been spending these last several months healing. #miscarriageisnojokeRead more
Have you ever been in a place in life where you look around and think “I should be more disappointed than I am”? That moment when you are missing a critical component to your life and yet, you have peace, joy, and just… shear contentment, anyways?
That’s where I am. Despite still missing some babies running around, I am basking in the sunlight that I find myself in.
I have so much coming down the pike and I am so excited about all of it. In this time of waiting, I have finally kicked my butt into gear and started getting stuff done. It was time to get cracking on those dreams I’ve had on hold for a decade or more and it just so happens that you guys get to share in the excitement. Read more
One of the aspects of infertility that I am stark-raving passionate about is ‘living life outside of infertility’.
For the first few years of this journey, I went kicking and screaming about not having control over my wanting children. I had plans to start a family and when it didn’t happen I threw a life sized hissy fit. My every waking moment was focused on waiting for a positive pregnancy test. The sad part is that I missed out on so much life during those years.
I genuinely regret the years that I’ve lost. I won’t get those opportunities and moments back. They’re gone for good.
I’d been reading Kingdom Woman by Tony Evans and got to a section about single womanhood. Usually I blow right past sections like these because, hello(!), I’m married! But, for some reason, I was feeling a nudge to read it.
About a paragraph in I knew exactly why. Yes, the section talked about singles. But, dog-gone, there is an important lesson in those pages that absolutely applies to barrens and, y’all, I JUST HAD TO SHARE IT WITH YOU! Read more
God uses the most amazing avenues to teach us. Being a farm girl and writer, it’s no surprise that He chooses farm analogies to reach my soul. I’m always noticing the correlation between God’s loving care for us and the principles used in animal husbandry.
For example, I don’t only see a group of chicks running for cover under their mother’s wings. I see Psalm 91:4 at work – God’s people resting and finding safety under His wings.
As a shepherdess, I often see these same striking similarities in the care & keeping of my flock of sheep.
Our circumstances have been different these last 3 or 4 years. When we started our flock they were at our personal residence and we had very high success rates with lambing. If I remember correctly, we didn’t lose a single lamb when they were at our house.
Since then, we moved and we haven’t had them with us for about three and a half years now.
Our flock has struggled since the move. Be it coyotes, parasites, trouble lambing, or pregnancy toxemia (an energy crisis) we’ve lost dozens of sheep and lambs. Read more