One little post. That’s where this ministry all began. Never in a million years would I have thought I would start a blog, get to know women all over the world sharing in the same pain as I, be encouraged by said women and couples in my journey, and openly share our every step of something so private in our lives. It’s been an amazing and productive year and I can’t wait to see how the next unfolds!
As I said in my last post, I want to take a throwback trip and reminisce on my first moments of going public about our infertility. Being National Infertility Awareness Week, I thought it very appropriate to do so.
Many of you reading this blog may be contemplating going public yourself. Maybe this is the first time you’ve ever heard of NIAW? Maybe you’re a bit too scared to divulge your deepest darkest secret. That’s what this week is all about. Bringing awareness to the general public and those in our family & social network.
But, it’s also a week when we extend a lot of focus on helping other Infertile Myrtles gain the boldness and fearlessness needed to share their stories.
Fellow scared Infertile Myrtle, share on!
I, too, was so scared to tell our story. But, I finally got fed up with trying to battle this trial on my own. God had a plan for this struggle that I couldn’t see. After going public, the outpouring of love and support has built me up and carried me forward numerous times, especially on hard days…
Like when I have to see a male RE and the overwhelming ANXIETY of him seeing my woohaa….. Seriously people. Being a modest woman who really wants her husband to have the only permission to go there, that was such an obstacle for me to overcome. Forget the needles. Forget the surgeries. It’s the lack of privacy. I am so thankful my RE is laid back and respectful. In the best of his abilities, he understands. #Compassion
Infertility is invasive. It’s emotionally debilitating at times. And it’s awkward! The struggle is real.
All of such things makes telling our stories so, so difficult. But, as unfortunate as it is that we have to talk about woods, poondoodles, boobies, Pedros, Juniors, etc., more unfortunate is the knowledge that someone, somewhere is hiding herself/himself in their emotional cave; too scared to face the world. Too weak and tired to face the task of attending a baby shower. Too prideful even to allow someone else to help carry their burdens. All mostly because of the seemingly taboo topic – lady parts, man parts, sex life, all aspects that should be kept between a husband and wife.
It’s embarrassing. Trust me, I get it.
Cast[ing] all your care upon him; for He careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22
But, your choice to announce to the world that you are 1 in 8, doesn’t have to be so graphic. You can choose what to share and what to keep on the down low. The point is to allow at least a portion of your big, bad burden to be carried by those around you.
I so encourage you to do so. Be courageous and brave!
Here is my very first public writing on our infertility. It’s simple, non-graphic, and gets the job done… awareness.
Post Entry: April 19, 2015
It is officially National Infertility Awareness Week. I am so excited for this week as many of my fellow “infertile myrtles” will be sharing their stories with family, friends, and for some, complete strangers. Brooksie and I have been walking this path for 9 years as of this past fall. This year will mark 10 years. In the beginning, it was a piece of cake. But as the years went on, it got tough. Real tough. The bible says there are 4 things that are never satisfied and never say “enough!”. One of them is the barren womb. The others are fire, drought, and death. That’s right infertility is biblically compared to these things… HOW AWFUL!!!! It’s true – we women would love to just forget about it all and move on with life but we can’t. It’s not because we are obsessed or hard-headed. We literally physically cannot let it go. It’s unlike any thing I’ve experienced before. The feeling really is insatiable.
We have “unexplained infertility”. Which basically means exactly what it says – there is no reason for it but it just “simply” won’t happen. I am someone who needs closure, to know the why & the how of situations. Unexplained infertility has been such a challenge because of this. It’s really hard for a Type A like me to not have explanations. But God is good all the time. By His grace, I’ve been able to overcome the depression, anxiety, worry, confusion, loneliness, anger, bitterness, jealousy, sheer panic and all of the other emotions that come with this trial. In some of my darkest, loneliest hours He has always ministered to my heart. Verse by verse He has shown me His ways which thankfully have kept us on the right path.
This Friday I will be undergoing Laparoscopic surgery to check for endometriosis. New research has proven that unexplained infertility is actually linked to endometriosis. Some 30-50% of unexplained infertiles actually have it. This is something that the Lord put on my heart all these years but had never quite felt peace about getting checked for. Through various confirmations and prayer, we feel this is the right next step. We finally have peace about this move. I am so excited for this step for so many reasons.
That’s a very brief insight into our infertility. I seriously could go on or hours and days. Please join me in praying for and supporting those couples battling this trial. They need to know their loved.
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