I just had to share with you something that happened this morning and truly blessed my socks off.
Over the last couple of days, I’ve found myself more anxious and physically tired than usual. I ran through the possible reasons why – too much coffee, an increased work load, unending demands of my time because of said workload. But despite all of that, it really didn’t make sense. I felt off and couldn’t put my finger on it.
The reason dawned on me this morning. My heart has been anticipating today, September 22, 2016. Today marks one month since the miscarriage. Mystery solved. My subconscious was fit to be tied.
I needed to leave my house by 8:45am to attend a bible study group but was running unusually early today. Key phrase being ‘unusually early‘. Feeling anxious and tender about what today represents, I picked up a book that my friend Christy got me called “Grieving the Child I Never Knew“.
Now, let me just stop right there and share how this book came into my possession. Christy was at our local Lifeway Store, doing her thing, and this book literally dropped into her hands. According to her, she was pulling another book off the shelf and this one fell with it and into her hand. She knew immediately to whom it was for. ME! ❤️
So, anyways, this morning I was feeling bummed and depressed and with the spare time I had before leaving for bible study I picked it up. The introduction briefly told the author’s infertility story and wouldn’t you know it, she shared that her second miscarriage, the only one that enabled her to hold her dear child, was on August 22nd… The exact date that I lost my two babies and was able to hold one of them. #MindBlown #HeartOverwhelmed
God being the awesome, caring God that He is showed me through this story that He is near me during this grievous day.
Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. John 14:11
I’ve said it before and I will forever keep saying it… what we may see as coincidences are the very touch of God Himself in our life.
My friend Christy was obedient to God’s call to buy that book for me. I was obedient in picking it up this morning when my heart was breaking all over again.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:15-16
As a mother, I look at the days my children had to live. They never made it out of the womb alive, but their story is being told. Their lives are still impacting mine, their father’s, grandparents’, family’s, friends’, and strangers’ even now, a month after their death. God is using their life in amazing ways. How they came to be, how they died, and how their Creator loves them. Their story is still being remembered.
Lord, thank you for remembering me. Bless Christy for being obedient to Your call to give a precious gift. Thank you that on THIS day, today, I should open that book and see such a sweet message that You are near to my broken heart.