I am so excited to share with you Nicole & Bryant’s infertility story! Nicole is not only a fellow Infertile Myrtle, sister in Christ, and friend, she attends my church! Having a gal pal right there with me on the front lines of infertility makes it so much less lonely, amen?!?!
It was a complete orchestration of God’s hands that we crossed paths at this particular season of life. It has been amazing to see how He has been working in their life and how He has been strengthening and encouraging them, especially in the last few months. Completely AWESOME to witness!
I am so proud of these two for opening up about their pain and am honored to have the privilege of being their platform with which to do so. It absolutely takes guts and bravery to be transparent about something so tender!
Nicole and Bryant, God writes the most beautiful of stories and you will inspire many with yours.
Nicole & Bryant’s Story
Bryant and I married on September 21, 2013. A beautiful day that ended in torrential down pours… very memorable. I think back to our wedding day and all the hopes and dreams we had. It was a plan really. We mapped out our next steps. We waited a year then start trying to conceive a child, build our little family. So, exactly at the 1 year mark all birth control stopped and the excitement of “when will the positive test come” was in full swing. Month after month we were hoping and praying this would be the one!
Pinterest became an obsession. What cool announcement are we going to post for all of our friends and family? Lexi, our fun-loving rescue pup had to be included of course! Nursery themes, what color to paint the room? What stuff could I buy now at a great deal so we are not spending a ton when we find out and why wait when today it’s on sale! If anyone knows me well, I am a very thrifty shopper. Yard sale season came and, at each stop, children’s books became my obsession. We almost have the entire Dr. Seuss collection plus over 100 other books that we MUST read to our baby.
Months came and went and this awesome dream started to turn into more of question mark. Isolation took over. Every new baby announcement, every baby shower invitation became harder to handle. I would make excuses for why I was “unavailable” to come. Knowing secretly I would just be at home asking God, WHY? Why is it so easy for everyone else to get pregnant and what is wrong with me?
After about a year, I went to my OB doctor and told them my frustrations. After a few initial tests and observations of my cycle, I was diagnosed with PCOS. My cycle was not normal and this could be the reason why we just kept missing our chances! Whew, load off…great now let’s just treat these symptoms and get pregnant! Oh…so I thought! A few months later plus a round of Clomid, I went for the ultrasound and no eggs! The nurse even asked me, are you sure you took the medication? Yes…it turned me into a crazy person! Disappointments were all around.
Bryant, my wonderful husband (might I add), told me one afternoon…”Hey, I made an appointment with my doctor. I just want to check my labs to make sure there isn’t something going wrong with me as well”. First of all what man selflessly offers to go to the doctor? He scheduled the appointment and everything! Results came back and we got even worse news. Sperm levels wouldn’t even register on the test.
We were advised to see a fertility doctor and a urologist. WHAT IS HAPPENING? Is this real? I was afraid and confused. I didn’t know anything about infertility. Selfishly, I turned to God and questioned why a lot. Instead of going to my heavenly Father for comfort, I basically shook my fist and questioned His plans. You see, they didn’t match mine. Infertility was not in the equation. We were already supposed to have a baby, not listening to a doctor tell me about exhausting procedures, more labs, more doctor visits, oh and this whole process not to mention is roughly 30k if you choose the package with the money back guarantee if you don’t deliver a baby. (And it’s not even the full amount of money back!)
My life changed the moment we walked into Ragland Memorial Baptist Church. To hear the word of God preached with passion. To hear the true and pure word, not a preacher giving a “self help” lesson. It brought me back to a place my heart remembered. The cold heart was renewed with the word of God. His love for me was never ending. His promises never fail; His work on the cross was not in vain. Jesus is the Holy Son of God. The one who loved me enough to die for my sins! It was time to ask for forgiveness and cling to His word. To love again, to feel normal emotions, to be happy for others, this is not the end of our story! My marriage got stronger, we prayed together, we leaned on each other, and we joined a small group and made some really great friends.
We finally opened up about our journey with infertility with a few people and our family. Jil Davis was a refreshing light to our soul. We would read her blogs and feel the same struggles but in the end we felt connected. We were not alone.
Every infertility struggle has its differences. For Bryant and I, IVF is our only option. Bryant will need surgery for the doctor to retrieve the sperm. We will have to figure out my crazy cycle to pin point the right time for egg retrieval. Even though we have no plan, our full trust is in the Lord. Writing this is still frightening but if Jil had never talked about her journey, we would have kept silent; feeling alone in this process since infertility is never talked about.
We ask for your prayers as we continue our journey. In the meantime, we are living our life in full preparation that God will one day give us a child of our own. We are holding on to each other and believing even our story could encourage others.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
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